Job Hunt Leads to Nowhere

Let me break it down for you, I have used every possible career search engine website available through Google - well up to page 6, then I just gave up, but still no luck. I am worried because I need a part time job during school, but I would like a full time, even career as soon as I graduate. So here is where the problem lies, do I search for an after school job or just forget it about continue my search for a job after graduation??
Internships have been a possibility, yet majority of them are unpaid. That is not a word I like, at all. I am not working for free, nor do I want college credit. I have enough of that thank you very much; and when you really think about it, you have to pay the school to take an internship, so it is if you are paying to work there. I am not paying to work somewhere, that totally changes the meaning of work.
Searching for a career has made me give up hope - one because there are limited amounts of jobs (which those that are offered want candidates with years of experience) and two I am not even sure I know what I want to do with my life anymore. My dream job is not one you can just apply for and get, no you have to start at the bottom and hope some day to work your way up. Also, you can not get hired for that position unless you have experience and no one will hire you to give you the experience. Oh what a tangled web we weave.
Another dilemma, do I stay in So. Cal or move to NY? I mean if I stay in So. Cal I have a place to stay until I can save up enough to live on my own. I would be able to make ends meet and still be able to put money away - however there are more job opportunities in NY. In NY, I'd be going with nothing and probably making nothing, in hopes to make it big one day.
Maybe I'll just stay in school, this is becoming all too complicated.

Niche? What is that?

The fact that I am graduating in less than 5 months, I have been really starting to freak out about the job market. Not only will I be able to find a job, but will I like it? What am I good at? What is it that I really want to do? Talking with Elena and Karen Berge almost every Monday, that was majority of our conversation, where do we go from here? Elena is this great speaker, who is also funny. I believe she should be a comedian or something related to that. I feel like I can see what everyone else is good at, but myself.
I know what I am interested in, but am I really good at it? I love fashion, yet I have to be careful with spending my money, for I do not have the unlimited budget I wish I contained. So how can I write about fashion, without "dressing" the part? Don't you have to be considered an expert to be in that field? and what qualifies you as an expert? I believe I have good taste, but everyone is different.
I love film. Everything about film excites me. Yet, it is the hardest business to get into. It is one of those "you have to know someone who knows someone" kinda business'. I don't think I know somebody who knows somebody, so how do I get in? I feel like I am interested in the most cut throat businesses and I am just setting myself up for disappointment - yet I can not help what I like and what I am interested in.
I do like giving advice and I am not afraid to tell you how it is - yet another profession you must be an "expert" in. I believe my past and experiences make me an expert in certain areas, yet society wants a piece of paper that says you are an expert.
So what am I good at? What sets me apart from the rest of the graduates going out looking for jobs? I believe my niche is that I do not have just one, but that I have a couple where I can really have a career in a field I absolutely love. Now the question is...how do I get there?
Stay tuned to see just where I get and how I got there.

Never say "Die"

The Reconstruction of American Journalism is an article written by The Journalism School at Columbia University that highlights the importance of "accountability" in journalism. The growth of the Internet is bring the need for newspapers down. Most readers would prefer to just click and read the stories of their choosing. Not only does the newspaper have to compete with the news on television, it now has a faster medium to compete with -Internet.

Every news station has a website; along with a website, they have a Facebook page, blog and Twitter, bring news to their readers faster and with less searching. Google has made searching for Headlines and stories effortless - taking the hassle, black fingers and advertisements out of the readers way.

Another topic the article brought up was the decrease in advertisers interest in placing ad's in newspapers; since the economy dropped. Newspapers run off the money brought in by advertisers, so what is the solution to being able to run a newspaper with no funds? Leonard Downey Jr. and Professor Michael Schudson, the writers of the article, are suggesting government funding. Do we see a problem with this?

Yes! If the government then controls the newspaper, they control the voice. The whole point to the newspaper is the "right to free speech" and "right to the press"; if the government funds the newspaper, they control the newspaper. Just imagine election year, when one candidate is preferred over the other - no longer will journalist be able to report both candidates in a non-bias way, yet report the good on one and the bad on the other.

The newspaper may be behind in times, with all this technology that we are now pron to use daily, but a lot of people still enjoy the tradition of a newspaper. Understanding that every business' marketing budget is cut, so they are going to advertise where most viewers will see it; the Internet. However, the newspaper is a classic medium that will not be forgotten nor die anytime soon.

Romans 12:9

"Hate what is evil; cling to what is good."

Even though this is my favorite verse, I am having a really hard time living by it. I tend to give too many "second" chances. Which in reality is chance three, four and five. However, I try to continue to remember that I do not need people in my life who do not make time for me in theirs. Evil can mean many things and pertain to main things; people, alcohol, drugs, sex and my worse enemy, excessive spending. Why do I need some of the stuff I buy? I do not need it, but it is a desire, yet this desire is taking money out of my savings account. Money that I will one day need to pay my rent or put a down payment on a car; yet I choose to blow it on my daily Venti Marble Mocha Mocciato, that just adds lbs.

The good things in life go over looked from time to time. Like my family; I adore them and could not live a day without them and their support, yet I ignore my parents phone calls sometimes just because I am in a bad mood. I should not push the good things further away, I should, like it says, cling to them. I am really good at giving advice, but I can't take it. That is another thing I need to learn to cling too; holding on to my words and supporting them with my actions. Most advice is to get rid of the evil, and cling to the good things going on in your life. I also take my best friend for granted sometimes. She does so much for me, and I let my moods affect how I respond to her sometimes when it is not fair to her. She is the most caring person in the world, and I need to cling to her.

My newest motto, or the verse revised I shall say: "Hate the bad, love the good".

Heated Debate

I don't know what makes me more upset; people who throw away their dreams or people who put down other people's dreams. Maybe i'll take a poll one day and see what the majority of the population thinks, but right now, that is currently the anxiety I am creating for myself.
That is another thing I hate; my anxiety. I literally make myself sick over things that should not or are not a really big issue. However, I take everything so seriously and want perfection out of everything in my life that I put ridiculous amounts of pressure on myself. Why you may ask? Well, if you really want to know it is because I am afriad to fail. I am afriad I will not be able to make something of myself, that I won't be able to support myself or my future family and I am also afriad of my dreams coming true.
Weird?
I agree, but I am terrified I will get everything out of life that I want. Strange phobia to have, I know, but there is something about actually succeeding and living out the dream I have for myself. Maybe it is because once I fulfill my dream, i'll have nothing else to go after. Once I reach my goal, what comes next? Do you just continuely make goals and have dreams only to one day fulfill all your life's desires?
I feel like life is not that perfect. We are suppose to fail and make mistakes and make goals that are unattainable - all so we continue to push ourselves and drive to be the greatest we can possible be. But what good is a dream if it is unattainable? Or no one believes you can accomplish it?
I have been told my whole life that something I want I will never achieve. That is a great way to influence children into doing great things; don't you think. I have always wanted to work in the movies, with literature, music - the entertainment business I shall say, but not everyone can work in show business. And trust me, I am my worse supporter, because I try and try to convince myself to think logically, but I just can't. I am an idealist - I have all these ideas and dreams for my life, yet have no idea how to get there.
I really think my anxiety comes from the fear of becoming an adult. Yes I am 21 years old and am considered an adult, but I am still in college. I can still make stupid decisions because frankly, I am still a kid. But adulthood is 7 months away, and I am not ready for it. I really hate growing up.

Newest Obsession

I have come to realize I really enjoy reading biographies. I read Tori Spelling's book, Go Ask Alice (which was a true diary), I am currently reading Kathy Griffin's book and I believe there are a few more, but thinking is not my strong suit on Sunday afternoons. Reading about their lives and the struggles they went through growing up makes me feel connected to them in some way; as if I can open to a page in their book and find the answer as to deal with certain issues, such as a bad breakup, trying to find a job and pursuing my dream. Their tales are sort of a "How-To" for me. Their struggles make me realize I am not the only person who has dealt with certain life issues. There are other people out in the world who have more to worry about then their boyfriend cheating on them or that they did not win homecoming queen; they have real problems like trying to find ways to support their family. Okay, I am getting off topic, but my main point is, I know I do not have the most dramatic life issues, but it is nice to read that other's have gone through it, and how they made it out.

By reading biographies, I find myself thinking more about the book I want to write. It is non-fiction, but some would call it a biography, because it is about my life. However, just as how I learned and was helped by these people's stories, I hope that my story would help someone, even if it is just one. I know that majority of my problems revolved around boys, but that is life, trying to find yourself and trying to find someone who you want to share your life with. Well, that is what the book is about, trying to find myself, without being defined by guy. I feel there is a time in every girls life where she feels that she will only be complete when some guy loves her, but it is NOT true. You are complete when you truly love YOURSELF. That is what these women have taught me through their stories, and I hope to one day do the same for another.

Summer 09

Being the last summer to act like a child, I believe it was the summer I grew up. Instead of waking up in the late afternoon, lounging around the house watching Lifetime movies, laying by the pool and staying up way too late, I was being a big kid. I was going to bed before 9:00 p.m., woke up by 7:00 a.m. and was at work by 8:30 a.m. I worked from 8:30 a.m. until 5:00 p.m. Why? Because I decided that I needed to grow up, make some money and further my education.

Did I forget to mention I was in summer school? I am not sure you would call if summer school, but I did receive credit for it. I was an intern for Maryann in the Journalism Department. I made videos this summer; videos that could and would be shown to the incoming journalism students. Ranging from "How To" videos to "AP Style Guide" video, so I guess it was more of a hobby I got to do for college credit.

I did go home a few times this summer, but only for a short while. My parents still live in our hometown of Antioch. Yes, that is the place where the kidnapped girl was found; that story put our town on the map, and not in a good way. But back to me going home, the first time I went back home, my mom, sister and I went and say "Wicked". I was so excited because "The Wizard of Oz" is my favorite movie, so I was dying to see the musical. The second time I went home I took my boyfriend with me. I was so nervous, yet excited at the same time. He had met my parents before, but this is my home, the place where I grew up, I did not know what to except.

All in all, my summer was okay. Would I change anything? Maybe that I would have just enjoyed my last summer as a student, but instead I decided that it was time to grow up. I guess that was what I did this summer, grew up.